Inbox For Penguins Of Madagascar
by pronker
Summary: Operation: Listen To Your Messages is a go.


Title: Inbox For The Penguins Of Madagascar

Rating: G

Setting: During The Run Of The TV Show

Characters: Skipper, Dr. Blowhole, Pinkie, Roger, Marlene, Kitka, Uncle Nigel, Hans, Burt, Rat King, Blue Hen

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction using Penguins of Madagascar settings and characters that Dreamworks owns.

Summary: Operation: Listen To Your Messages is a go.

IOIOIOIOIO

You have reached Penguin Commandos HQ. Please note that our options have changed. If you know the extension of your party, press 1 now. To leave a callback number, press 2. To get directions and hours of operation, press 3. To report incoming missiles, press 4. For technical problems, press 5. To reach the complaint department, press 223880489 between the hours of 0800 and 0801 GMT. To hear your messages, press 6. If this is Skipper, Order of the Day is for you to listen to and then delete your messages because they are overloading our message system. Ask Kowalski if you don't know how to do this yourself. We begin with the oldest unheard message. Word to the wise, Skipper. This is your - _**19th**_ \- message.

 **~beep~**

It's Kitka. I've met someone. Farewell for _good_ , Skipper _._

 **~beep~**

HQ is complaining to me about some utter rot with your team and its messages. Take heart, lads, HQ _always_ complains. They even complained about my latest undercover disguise. My sources on the street say that the Miss Universe 2016 contest is the perfect place to suss out the latest evil plot from the Red Squirrel. Watch for me at the Mall of Asia Arena on the 30th of January next. I'll be the one whose swimsuit competition blows your mind.

 **~beep~**

Hey, what's up, guys? In the mood for some company? I'm just hanging out, waiting to shed my skin. I'm comfort noshing 'cause I'm kinda bored. It's not good for my figure. I'll never get callbacks from my tryouts if I go over 800.

 **~beep~**

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - oh. Never mind, um, yeah, it was only a firefly. Crisis averted, guys, I don't need you after all. I'll shoo it away myself. Keep it together, Marlene, really.

 **~beep~**

Hi, guys, why don't you ever answer my messages? We're all zoomates, whatever Mason says. Just because he has a live-in pal and never gets lonesome doesn't mean that _elephants_ don't get lonesome. C'mon, answer my message. I've got a doozy of an idea for us to do some art together. You won't get hurt, I promise, if you do exactly as I say. It'll be fantabulous, you'll see, fellas.

 **~beep~**

I predict that Private is whingeing about the Lunacorns being almost cancelled, Kowalski is doing his pathetic best to blow you all up, Rico is eating something that he will regurgitate to little effect in our next battle of wits, and that you, Skipper, are wracking your little pea brain trying to remember who I am. I got defrosted, does that give you a clue?

 **~beep~**

Bird. I've got my freak on for a beat on. On you four, that is. I'm being a good sport and warning you. Don't expect any more rat sportsmanship. My guys need me to set a bad example.

 **~beep~**

Your Dream Team will be the Scream Team before I'm done with you pen-gu-ins. Go on, three guesses as to who this is and the first two don't count.

 **~beep~**

My best frenemy, how I long for our good old days of de fish fights! It's been ages since Hans saw you because Ma grounded me. I'm plotting my escape, ja dis time I be smart.

 **~beep~**

Baby, you will _not_ believe what I saw on my flyover this morning! Invite me to your pad, sweet thang, and we'll dish!

 **~beep~**

I'm mad at you, Skipper. My last seven dates can't compare to what we had together. Why did you ruin my life? I was a happy midtown Manhattan girl until I met you! If you give me another chance, I'll reform. I can't promise to go vegan, though. Falcons don't do vegan. Can I come over in an hour? We need to talk about our relationship. It won't hurt. Much.

 **~beep~**

It's Nigel on the horn, old boy. Tell young Private that his uncle received intel about the Red Squirrel nancing about in Central Park Zoo. I must dash and discover if he's a decoy or the real thing. Heads up in thirty.

 **~beep~**

Yeah, hi, this is Roger. You know, I'm just kind of bored basking around my habitat. It's the curse of a creative mind. I'm so glad Marlene told me about your message number! What a friend she is! I guess you never did get a phone, huh? What, do you use some secret shoe phone or something like that to get messages? How could you if you don't wear shoes? Anyways, I gots the bores and I'll see you in twenty! I'm bringing chocolate boysenberry croissants!

 **~beep~**

Yeah, hey, it's Marlene. Skipper, can you bring your guys and get rid of a daddy long legs in my sink because it'll take you know all four of you? It's ginormous!

 **~beep~**

Um it's Burt. You know, the elephant? I gotta new art project I wanna discuss. Performance art is the next big thing, right? So I'm on a bowling team and you and your guys are bowling pins, right? I'm thinking Kowalski as lead pin but we can hash it out when I come over to your place. I'll bring peanuts to add to your popcorn and we'll make popcorn balls so preheat your oven! Look for me around eight-ish oh hey that's only twenty minutes away gotta go. Leave the hatch open for me! Toodle oo!

 **~beep~**

My predictions say that you'll be homeless by 0817 GMT. I wouldn't miss this for the world. Tell Kowalski he can bunk with me but the rest of you will have to wing it. The Blue Hen is never wrong, well 99.7 percent of the time never. I predict random meteor strikes in the Five Boroughs this morning, too.

~ **beep~**

Hey, bird. King Rat here. I'm coming for you in ten minutes, tops. Smackdown, bird. Bet on it.

 **~beep~**

Be afraid, Skipper. Be very afraid. I'm calling my brand new plan Son Of The Return Of The Revenge Of Dr. Blowhole. Phase One starts when you least expect it.

~ **beep~**

Skippsy, Hoboken cannot hold Hans! Why can't we be palsy-walsies again? Why do I only see you when we fight? When can Hans visit and be nice? Two minute warning, chumsy-wumsy!

 **~beep~**

Skipper's Log, Post 5,231, general distribution to HQ, BCC to the Big Boss: Hold all my messages. I'm going to be busy.

IOIOIOIOIO

The End.


End file.
